Update on my life

Song of the moment: Smells like teen spirit by Nirvana




Load up on guns and bring your friends
It's fun to lose and to pretend
She's over bored and self assured
Oh no, I know a dirty word


Hello, hello, hello, how low? (x3)
Hello, hello, hello!


With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido
Yay! (x3)


I'm worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end


Hello, hello, hello, how low? (x3)
Hello, hello, hello!


With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My Libido
Yay! (x3)


And I forget just why I taste
Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard, it was hard to find
Oh well, whatever, nevermind


Hello, hello, hello, how low? (x3)
Hello, hello, hello!


With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido


A denial !! (x9)




[This song is so fucking random and angstful. I love it.]


Okay, since I have school in an hour, I'll just put it in a nutshell until I have more time later to fully talk about it.


1. I am now on medication, and I'm taking Paroxetine, more commonly known as Paxil. I went to our family physician yesterday with my mom and we talked about my depression. Eh, it's a long story and I'll explain later.


2. I dropped my last science class and went a level down in math to lighten up the load, since school was the thing that started making me cut myself again. Yeah, yeah I'll explain that later too. I'm being awfully vague right now so be patient.


3. The medication is giving me all of the fucking side effects and I think it's making me even crazier. I mean, I'm not all sad or anything.... I'm just.... becoming more schizophrenic. I can't sleep. I must have went to sleep at 3 AM after reading a book and tossing and turning all around my bed. I then woke up at 6 AM and again, with the tossing and turning. I talked to myself for a while and it's just... crazy. It's actually kind of fun.


4. I cut myself again last night, before I hopped into bed. There must be over 30 new cuts on my left arm. I carved "Mil" on my lower left hand, and then a star right in the middle. I'm getting quite used to this, or rather, addicted. Now and then my skin just itches for it. It YEARNS for the pain. I love it.





I'll explain everything later with further detail. I really should take a shower and go to school! Yay! =D


Later.